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Fundraising Humor

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For once the lawyer is not the butt of the joke (ok, maybe ONE joke).

A doctor, a lawyer and a fundraiser arrive at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells the doctor that he will grant him one wish before he enters heaven so the doctor asks for a million dollars. St. Peter grants the wish and the doctor enters into heaven. This generosity did not go unnoticed by the lawyer so when St Peter asks him for his wish the lawyer asks for a billion dollars. St. Peter grants the wish and the lawyer enters into heaven. When St. Peter asked the fundraiser what she would like, she says, “If it is not too much trouble could I please get the business cards of the two people who entered heaven just ahead of me?”

via A Small Change

 

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?" 

"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer." 

"Never heard of him. What did he write?" 

"A check," replied the guide.

via Harry Leichter's Jewish Humor

 

A hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn't take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace.

There were only two survivors: the boat's owner Dr. Eskin and its steward Benny. Both managed to swim to the closest island. After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward was crying and very upset that they would never be found. The other man was quite calm, relaxing against a tree.

"Dr. Eskin, how can you be so calm?" cried the Benny. "We're going to die on this lonely island. We'll never be discovered here."

"Sit down and listen to what I have to say, Benny," began the confident Dr. Eskin. "Five years ago I gave the United Way $500,000 and another $500,000 to the United Jewish Appeal. I donated the same amounts four years ago. And, three years ago, since I did very well in the stock market, I contributed $750,000 to each. Last year business was good again, so the two charities each got a million dollars."

"So what?" shouted Benny.

"Well!" smiled Dr. Eskin, "It's time for their annual fund drives. They'll find me."

via Today's Chuckle

 

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

Via Reader's Digest

 

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them."

via Lawyer Joke Collection

Tagged in: Fundraising

For me, fundraising and communications go together like peanut butter and jelly – delicious & filling!

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